Forever Lost
by Elementa
Summary: Allie decides to choose Lon over Noah, and her life is dramatically different than the one suggested in the movie.
1. Forever Lost Chapter 1

(This story starts with the scene where Allie has to make her decision in the hotel room, with Lon by her side.)

"I'll choose you," whispered Allie. "I will. I know were meant to be together. It's just… it's just _really _hard… I_ know_ I'm supposed to end up with you… it's just, I used to love Noah—"

"Allie. I can't change your past. You loved somebody before, I understand that. And I'm going to have to _live _with the fact that you will _always_ love him. But I _can_ change your present. I _can _change your mind about him. _Marry_ me,Allie, _marry _me. We'll live in a big, beautiful home together, overlooking the ocean. I know you'd like that. I know you love the ocean. We could have lots of kids, how many do you want, Allie? How many kids do you want?"

"Three," whispered Allie, crying. "I want _three. _Lon... I _just _don't know." Allie held the bundle of letters from Noah. She was sitting on her bed in the Seabrook hotel room. Her mother was in the hotel lobby, anxiously awaiting Allie's decision. Allie wiped the tears off her face with her hands and just stared at the letters in her hand.

"Okay," whispered Allie. She sniffled and took a deep breath. "Okay, Lon, I know what I'm gonna do. We're gonna live together, Lon. We're gonna live in a beautiful home, like you said, overlooking the ocean. We're gonna have three kids... we're gonna live the rest of our lives together."

"That's right," said Lon, hugging her. "That's right. You've made the right decision, I know it."

Allie broke free from Lon's arms, stood up, and paced back and fourth in the room.

"But I just don't know. My life would be different with Noah too. Maybe... maybe you should _meet _Noah. _Yes... _maybe that would be the good thing to do. Maybe, if you _met _him, you could see for yourself how hard a decision this is."

"Allie, you're joking."

"No, no I'm not," said Allie, sitting back down by Lon. "I'm _not _Lon. This is a _good _idea. If you meet him, you can see for yourself. You can _talk_ to him, get to _know_ him, and I can see you side by side."

"Allie, let's be reasonable here," said Lon, holding her hands. "I _can't_ meetNoah."

"Why _not_?" asked Allie. "Why not? You could see my past. You could see who I_ used_ to be... there's a part of me that _still_ loves him, Lon. I'm _not _over him yet. Why don't you just wanna _meet _him, just this once, Lon?"

"Because, god dammit Allie... cause you slept with him," shouted Lon. "God dammit Allie. How can I be around a guy you slept with? I can't_ look_ at him... all I'll think about is you, and him, together... and I can't bare it. I know I have to accept your past, Allie, but I don't have to see it for myself! I just can't do it!"

Allie stormed out of the hotel room.

"Wait... Allie!" Lon ran out after her. She was right outside the room, sitting against the wall, her face in her hands.

"I _can't _believe you said that Lon..." wept Allie."I can't believe you said that. What's wrong with you?"

"Allie, I'm sorry, but honestly now," said Lon. He sat down by her. "I _love_ you. And I'll respect your decision either way. Whether you pick him... or whether you pick me, I'll respect it. But you and I both _know _whose right for you... and that's me. Allie, I don't know who Noah is, but I do know no _other _man can give you the love I've given you, and the love that I _will _give you. I can give you everything you'll ever need. Can Noah _do _that Allie? Can Noah do that? You look at me and tell me Noah can give you everything you'll ever need. You tell me he can give you the world. I'll _give_ you the world, Allie. Can Noah give that to you? You tell me he can give you the world... and I'll leave... you can go back to Noah's and spend your life with him. But just _tell _me he can give you the world. Just tell me, Allie."

Allie wept for the next few minutes, thinking. After she hadn't said anything, Lon stood up, brushed off his jacket with his hands, and walked away.

"No!" cried Allie. "Stop... stop."


	2. Forever Lost Chapter 2

It had been almost a year since Allie had talked to Noah. She just didn't know what she could possibly tell him. She could never tell him how her marriage was going. The ceremony had been so perfect. It was held at the church Allie attended every Sunday with her mother and father ever since she was three. Lon was in his his gray suit, the bridesmaids were in plae yellow lacey dresses, and as she walked down the aisle, her father holding her hand, wearing her amazing white wedding dress with lace sleeves, all the admirers in their seats smiled at her. The reception was so perfect, in the big lawn of her father's mansion, under a big draped white tent, but all she could do was sit at her table, looking down at the ground, thinking of how her life would have been had she chosen Noah, and when her bridesmaids insist she dance, she would shake her head and say she wasn't feeling very well. Lawn knew what was going on in her mind, but he couldn't face it.

At first, Allie lived in her family's mansion and Lon in his, until Lon found a cozy little house overlooking the ocean. Five bedroom, four bathroom, a kitchen, a sitting room, a tea room, a sunroom, a deck.

The first thing Allie wanted when they moved in was to start a family. Lon didn't necessarily want to be a father; he was afraid his kids would associate him as the father who was never there or the father who didn't care, and he was neither of those things. He was just so consumed with the family business, that he didn't have time.He was the investments manager at Hammond cotton, a job he took on after his fathers' death soon after Lon and Allie's marriage. And he wasn't sure he was prepared to become a father, but seeing Allie's smile whenever he mentioned a family made him want to do it, just for her. So he cut hours out of his work hours and of his employees' work hours to come home early so that Allie and Lon could try to get her pregnant. And they tried. And tried. And tried. Eventually, Lon and Allie decided it was time to ask for the doctor's advice. The doctor said he simply didn't know what could be going wrong, so they didn't give up.

Lon did get Allie pregnant, though. She was so thrilled, and Lon was so thrilled that she was thrilled. But soon after, she lost the baby. The doctors couldn't figure out what had possibly gone wrong, so Allie insisted they keep trying. But Lon was exhausted. After a long time of trying and trying and failure after each attempt, Lon decided it just wasn't going to work.

Allie was devastated. She no longer spoke. She no longer smiled. She barely ate. She would just sit there, in her house, thinking. Lon couldn't stand to see her like this. So, he gave his employees and himself later working hours, so that he could get home and go to bed, then wake up and never go to work, all without having to interact with Allie.

Allie decided it was time to see Noah again. To see what had happened to him. To get a chance to see what could have been her fate. To experience her possible fate had she decided she was going to be with Noah.


	3. Forever Lost Chapter 3

After Allie heard Lon leave the house the next day to go to work, Allie got up from bed and got dressed. She decided she should keep her composure at Noah's, and convince him she had made the right choice, even if she wasn't sure she had, by showing him how happy and merry she was. She wore a beautiful white dress with big roses painted on it, a big red floppy hat ribbon on the rim, red gloves and heels, and a beautiful white and red diamond necklace Lon had bought her after she had lost the baby. After they had given up, Lon spoiled her with dozens of expensive gifts to get her to smile again. Even if it hadn't worked, she could convince Noah it had. She got into her car and drove to Seabrook.

When she arrived at Noah's mansion, she got out of the car and just stared at the house for a moment. It was like she remembered, a white house with blue shutters, just like she had asked Noah. It was the fate she hadn't chosen, staring her right in the face, and all she could do was admire it from afar. She wanted to get back in her car and go back home, but she had driven too far to just leave it. Or she could just go back home, now, save her dignity. Yes, she was just going to save her—

"ALLIE?" cried Noah from behind her. It was too late. She had no choice but to face him now.

"Hi, Noah," said Allie, still facing the house. She wasn't sure whether she wanted to turn around and see his face. She decided she had to turn around, or she would seem bitter. So she turned around. And there he was, Noah Calhoun. He had kept his beard and scruffy hair, and he was wearing khaki pants and a white t-shirt.

"What are you doing here?" exclaimed Noah with a smile on his face, running to her. When he was close enough to her he reached in for a hug. She didn't really hug him back, she just stood there and had his arms wrapped around her.

"How are you, Allie?" asked Noah, holding her face in his hand. "Come in, I want you to meet my family."

Allie followed Noah as he entered the house.

"KATE," shouted Noah. "PUT A POT OF TEA ON. THERE'S SOMEONE I WANT YOU TO MEET."

"You're not _married _Noah… right?" asked Allie.

Noah nodded. "I am. And we have a kid. Morgan. I'll show him to you right now. And we've got a second one along the way."

Allie followed Noah up the stairs to the mansion's second floor. The room he showed her was a beautiful little room with its windows open and sunlight streaming in. The room was filled with all sorts of wooden toys that Allie assumed Noah had made for his son. There was a big wooden crib painted light blue and the walls were a buttery yellow. Morgan was crawling on the floor, playing with a small wooden-carved dog.

"Oh, Noah," said Allie, taken aback. "He's beautiful."

"He's about seven months," said Noah, picking him up. "He doesn't cry too much at night, but in the day he cries a little more."

"TEA!" yelled Noah's wife from the kitchen downstairs.

"Come on, let's go downstairs. I'll introduce you to my wife."

Noah and Allie went down the stairs and into the kitchen. Allie could only see his wife's back, because she was by the sink. She was wearing a green dress with plastic white buttons down the sides of the dress. Her beautiful, shiny, light brown hair was tied in a long braid and was sitting on her back. She turned around. The first thing Allie noticed was her stomach, and clearly she was pregnant. She had piercing green eyes and her lips were painted a bright pink lipstick. She was wearing white heels.

"Allie," said Noah, bringing her near his wife. "I want you to meet Kate."

"It's a pleasure to meet you," said Allie, raising out her hand. Kate shook it, and Allie sat down at the table.

"Noah, what you've done is really beautiful. You've created such a lovely home here. I'm _really_ happy for you. I truly am," said Allie quietly. She cleared her throat. "So, Kate, I want to know about you."

"Well, I want to know about you _too_, Allie," said Kate, putting an assortment of biscuits and a tea pot on the table. Noah sat down. "Noah's never mentioned you before."

"Is that so?" said Allie, looking at Noah. "Well, you go first."


	4. Forever Lost Chapter 4

"Well," said Kate, sitting down at the table. Noah followed. Kate put tea cups by Allie and Noah's plates. "Mint tea?"

"Yes please," said Allie. Once Kate had filled Allie, Noah's and her own cup, she resumed the conversation. "Me and Noah met a year ago. It was at the movie theatre. I was just sittin' there, eating my popcorn, but Noah was staring at me from another seat far behind me. After I got out, he followed me, and asked my name. After that, we dated a few times. I really loved him. He was something special."

"Yes," nodded Allie. "Yes he is."

"Anyway, we decided to get married soon after. I introduced him to my parents; they really thought he was good for me. Noah's parents passed away long ago, as you might know dear, so I wasn't able to meet them. But I've heard so _much_ about Noah's father, how he bought the plantation for him by selling their house. I just think that is _so _admirable."

"Yes, Noah's father was quite special," said Allie.

"Oh, so you knew him? Well you must have known Noah from far long ago then, didn't you?" asked Kate.

"Oh yes, me and Noah have been friends for awhile now," smiled Allie. "Since we were teenagers."

"So then, tell me, how do you know my Noah?" asked Kate, passing a tray of biscuits to Allie. She took a few onto her plate.

"Well, we met—"

"Allie! I... I want to know about _your_ life now," said Noah, interrupting Allie.

"Noah! Did you lose your manners? Can't you see she was about to _say_ something?" said Kate, clearly bothered by his interruption.

"I know, but I _really _want to hear about Allie's life. It's just... it's been so long," said Noah awkwardly. "_Please _tell us."

Allie looked at Noah curiously, puzzled by his request. "Well, if you really want to know, I guess I'll just have to tell you then. Me and Lon have been married now for about a year. Um... we live in a beautiful house by the _ocean_, it's very cozy... Lon's father died a short time after the wedding... so he works at Hammond Cotton now. He's the investments manager. I'm a housewife."

"Do you have any children, dear?" asked Kate. Allie felt her throat get choked up, but she smiled and cleared her throat.

"Um... no, I'm afraid we don't," exclaimed Allie, trying to cover up her anguish by raising her voice. "But... but we're definitely working on it. We just have a very calm and _certainly_ happy life. Me and Lon_ really _love each other."

"Well, I'm really happy for you too, Allie," said Noah. He wasn't sure he was happy for her the way she wasn't sure she was happy for you. A short moment of awkward silence soon followed.

"So," exclaimed Kate, trying to break up the awkwardness. "Where are you staying tonight?"

"Oh, I think I'm planning on returning home," said Allie, clearing up her throat again. "I didn't tell Lon I was leaving the house today, because he left home early this morning, before I woke up. So I guess I'd better get home at around midnight."

"Doesn't he get home by dinner, like the rest of the working world?" asked Noah curiously. As much as Allie tried to hide it, he knew her too well to assume she was perfectly happy, but he couldn't put a finger on just what was bothering her.

"Um... no... no actually. He's working late tonight, so it wouldn't be necessary... to _leave _earlier. Of course, if I'm not welcome here, I could always just—"

"Of _course _you're welcome here, sweetheart!" exclaimed Kate. "You can stay here the rest of the day, maybe hit the lake on Noah's boat with him, then stay for dinner. Of course, if you need a break from your life, you could always stay here a few days. We have a room for guests in the house, don't we Noah?"

"Kate," said Noah, sighing. "Allie's _al_ready been here. She knows that."

"Well, you two have known each other longer than I thought, then," smiled Kate. "Well, Noah, why don't you take her up the lake?"

"That's a good _idea_, Noah," said Allie. "We can catch up in your little boat. Maybe feed some ducks, like we used to."

After a moment of thought in which the sink was running so that the moment wasn't completely silent, Noah stood up.

"Okay," said Noah. "Okay, we'll do that."

"Could I make a call first?" asked Allie. "You two don't mind if stay here a few days, do you?"

"Of course we don't dear!" said Kate from her sink, putting away the uneaten biscuits on the tray. "I'll show you to the phone while Noah sets up his boat."


	5. Forever Lost Chapter 5

"Hello?" asked Lon on the other end of the line.

"Hi Lon, it's... it's _me_," said Allie, twisting the phone cord around her finger. "I just wanted to let you know that I'm taking a few days off, to get my mind off of things."

"Well, good... so where are you staying?" asked Lon.

"In... in a hotel," said Allie, laughing nervously. "Just a small hotel."

"In town... in the country? Where is it Allie?" asked Lon.

"In... in Westfield," lied Allie. Westfield was a small suburbian town hours away from their home. If she had told Lon the truth, he would have known what was going on, and she knew he would have come down there right away.

"Westfield? My... that's quite far, isn't it?"

"Well... I just really wanted to get_ away_, _far _away. I drove for a few hours but now I'm here," said Allie assuredly. "So I guess I'll just see you when I see you."

"You go on, relax, take a break, if it's what you need," said Lon. "But when will you be coming back?"

"Oh, I'll just be here four or five days, no more," said Allie. "I'll see you soon. I love you."

"I love you too," said Lon. Allie hung up the phone.

"BOAT'S READY ALLIE!" exclaimed Noah from outside. Just as she was about to run out, Kate cried out.

"Wait dear!" Kate came over and gave her a paper bag filled with bread crusts. "For the ducks."

"Oh, of course," laughed Allie. "Thank you very much."

"You two have fun," said Kate, and she went back in the kitchen. Allie walked over to the dock, where Noah was waiting in the boat. When she got there, Noah gave her his hand, and she managed to hobble onto the boat.

"Why didn't you tell her about us?" asked Allie as soon as she got on the boat. "She doesn't know who I am? You didn't bother to_ tell_ her anything?"

"I wanted to, Allie," said Noah, pulling the rope off the dock. The boat started rocking, and Noah grabbed both paddles and started moving the boat. "It's just... just _talking _about it is hard. So telling _Kate_? I just couldn't. But what about _you_, Allie?"

"What about me?" grinned Allie.

"You didn't seem so happy. Kate couldn't see it, but I know you. Something's wrong."

"Oh, nothing," said Allie, looking away. "Nothing's the matter. I'm perfectly happy. I _love _Lon. I love him a lot."

"Well you didn't do a very good job of convincing me of it."

Noah looked into Allie's eyes, trying to figure her out, but she just cleared her throat and looked away. She didn't want to tell Noah, but he knew what she was feeling, so there was no longer anything to hide.

"Me and Lon, we _tried_ to have kids," started Allie. "We really did. We tried and we tried. And failed each time. Then, I got pregnant. I was _so _happy, Noah, I really was. Then... then I lost the baby. It just... it just kind of left, I guess. And then everything just fell apart. Lon is never home, Noah. He's always at work. And I'm always at home, staring into space, wondering what life would be like had I chosen you. You know, I blame myself for losing the baby. I was _too _happy. I was_ too_ excited. I guess God was trying to tell me something."

Noah just looked at Allie for a minute. "I'm sorry Allie."

"No, it's not your fault, you have no reason to be sorry. It's mine. God was probably trying to tell me never to be too happy, or else you'll lose it all. Lon tried to help me after I lost the baby. But the only thing he could ever think of doing was buying things for me. Whether it was the house, or the jewelry, or the shoes... he could never help me though. He would just ignore the way I felt. Even on my wedding day, when I was just sitting there, wondering what how I was going to live the rest of my life, and how it could have been spent with you, he would look at me, and see I was bitter inside, but never wanted to come near me. I couldn't figure out why he wasn't brave enough. I wanted to come here to see what you were going through, if you felt the same. Noah, I_ have_ moved on... but I'm not happy."

Suddenly, a flock of ducks started crowding around the boat, and Allie threw the bread to them.

"What about you, Noah? You've got everything going just the way it should be. Kate is such a nice girl. You have a son. You're waiting for your second. You seem really happy."

"Yeah, I guess I am," said Noah, paddling the boat. "Kate is great, the baby is great. Everything is just... happy."

Allie just laughed awkwardly and looked away. "I miss you Noah. I do. Every day I wonder how different life would be. How much happier. You made a family. You made a home for them. That's more than I was able to do."

"I don't know if I'm happy right now," said Noah.

"Well, good. I mean, not good, what am I saying... I'm _sorry_. It's just, I felt like I was telling you all these_ unhappy_ things about me and you were going to tell me your life was perfect."

"Sometimes I wish Kate was a little more like you, in some ways. More... stern. She's always just looking at the bright side. Sometimes I wish she was more... real."

Allie nodded. "Well Noah, she's lovely."

"Yeah, I guess," said Noah. "But she's nothing like you."


	6. Chapter 6

As soon as they entered the house after the boat ride, Kate came to them and told them dinner was on the table. Allie walked to the kitchen and sat down.

"Oh, no dear," laughed Kate. "We're eating dinner in the Dining Room. It's in the corridor, first door to your right."

Allie walked through the corridor and into the Dining Room. It was a big room with a dark cherry mahogany table and chair. Allie touched it; she could imagine Noah working hours on end to make it, and touching it, she could hear his voice. His voice telling her Kate was nothing like her. She could see him looking into her eyes when he was trying to figure her out.

"I hope you're hungry dear," said Kate, entering the room. In her hand was a big pot with a lid on it, but Allie could smell the aroma of seafood. "I've made us a big dinner."

"I'm starving," said Allie, her hand still on the table.

"Well, won't you sit down then? Noah will be down soon, he's just getting the baby. But I do want to know how you know my husband," said Katie, walking out of the room. Allie looked around the room and saw the piano. There was her past, and it would watch her as long as she was in the room. She walked over to the piano and sat down. Then she brought the seat closer to the piano and started playing. About two minutes into it Kate walked in the room.

"You play the piano dear?" asked Kate. "Well, isn't that special? I wish me and Noah knew how. Noah knows a song, I don't remember which one. Sticks or something."

Allie gulped. "You mean, like this?" she asked, and then proceeded in playing Chopsticks.

"Yes, that's the one," said Kate, putting another pot on the table. "Sticks. What a lovely tune."

"Actually, it's called Chopsticks," said Allie.

"Yes..." said Kate, listening to it. Allie stoped playing it, and a moment of silence followed. "Well... I'll get the rest of the meal."

As Kate left the room Noah came in. He had changed into a long sleeved white shirt with it's sleeves rolled up, and black pants. In his arms was Morgan. Allie resumed playing Chopsticks.

"I can play it now, the song," said Noah. He left the room and got a small chair and table for Morgan. He put the table and chair on the ground and Morgan sat down. Then he raised the chair up. "Kate can't play a tune. She likes to sing though. She sings the baby to sleep at night."

Kate walked in the room, the rest of the meal in hand. Allie sat down and scooted in to be closer to the table, unfolded her napkin and put it on her lap. "Well Kate, this looks sensational. You got yourself a top chef, didn't you Noah?" joked Allie.

Kate laughed. "Can't you cook Allie?"

Noah and Allie looked at each other and giggled. "I'm the worse cook in the world. I burn my eggs and I make my rice into black powder. I've never exactly been... the cooking type."

Noah and Allie giggled, but Kate looked at Noah. She could tell something was happier, more alive about him now that Allie had come into the picture. She had never seen Noah like this in their marriage, never smiling so.

"Excuse me," Kate said, standing up. "I have to get dessert." She got up from her chair and walked out of the room, but stayed against the other side of the wall to listen to Noah.

"So, Noah, what do we tell Kate?" asked Allie. "Are we gonna tell her the truth ? She knows something's up."

"Tell her what, Allie ? That we were in love.Who says we're not in love anymore, anyway ? We're married to different people now, but love doesn't just end. Allie, I'm not asking for us to divorce, to marry. But we can't deny what we had. We just can't Allie."

"I know we can't, Noah," said Allie. "And being here, I feel like I'm home. But you have Kate, and I have Lon."

"I..." Noah paused. "I still love you Allie."


	7. Chapter 7

Noah went outside to the porch to read poetry, blanket in hand, and Allie followed along. Kate went upstairs to fold laundry, bitter and feeling betrayed after what she had heard. As Noah read to Allie, Allie sat and contemplated her choices. Noah hadn't asked her to come back into his life, but she knew he wished it. Allie was unhappy with Lon, and didn't mind an escape from all the sadness she had suffered in their marriage. Noah clearly seemed happy with Kate, but he still loved Allie. The same words resonated in Allie's head over and over again, each time louder than the last: "But she's nothing like you." Allie couldn't keep her emotions bottled up inside her anymore. She felt her eyes water and well up with tears.

"Allie," said Noah, looking up from his poetry when he heard her weep. "Allie. What's wrong?"

He put his arm around her and wrapped the blanket around both of them. "What's wrong Allie?"

"I don't know anymore, Noah. Everything. My husband, my house, my mind, my things. Everything is so out of place and I'm losing control. And I can feel myself letting go, Noah, I can feel myself letting go. And I... I just don't _want _tolet go," cried Allie. "I want things to be like old times Noah."

"Allie, I want you. I want the old times back again too, and I'll do whatever it takes for us to be together. I know you feel the same way. But you're scared. You're scared to leave Lon, you're scared for me to leave Kate and my child. But I'd do it, Allie, if it meant getting you back. I still love you and it will always be that way. Come back Allie. Come back to me."

Noah approached his face to Allie's, and cupped her face into his palm. He approached his lips to hers, and gently made them touch. His lips had the warmth and the soft aroma of cinnamon, and they were soft and gentle. Allie could feel all her past emotions racing through her mind again, and the passion she had once shared with Noah had been revived.

The two heard the front door opening, and quickly looked up. Kate had come through the door.

"It's chilly out here, why don't you come on in, Noah?" asked Kate coldly.

"Well, she's right. Come on Allie," said Noah, standing up and taking the blanket and the book. Allie stood up.

"I didn't ask her to come in," said Kate bitterly. "Don't come in and don't you even _think _about coming back into my home."

Allie looked at Noah, Noah looked at Allie.

"Kate—"

"You lied to me, Noah," said Kate, crying. "You lied to me about her. Why didn't you tell me she was here for an affair?"

"What?" said Noah. "Kate, what are you talking about? She—"

"You think I didn't see that kiss, Noah? You think I didn't hear your conversation when I left the table? I did hear it, and it makes me sick to think that a married woman would come here to have an affair with you."

"That's not true Kate," said Allie. "That's _far _from the truth. I didn't come here to do anything, and we didn't _do _anything, Kate."

"Oh for _God's _sake!" said Kate. "That's a lie if I ever knew one. You want Noah. Well he doesn't want you!"

"Kate!" yelled Noah. "What are you talking about? Why don't you trust me?"

"Well, Noah, you clearly don't want to be with her—"

"YES, Kate, yes. I do!"

The three stod there, for a short moment of silence. The only thing that could be heard was the gentle song of crickets in the background and the rustling of leaves. Allie looked at the floor, afraid of Kate's reaction. Noah just looked at Kate, and Kate stopped crying.

"I'll pack my things, Noah. I'll be out of here by tomorrow afternoon. I'll take the baby with me."

When Noah didn't respond, Kate walked back into the house. Allie and Noah were left standing there. Noah looked at Allie, sorry she had had to experience what had just happened, and Allie just looked at the floor.

"Allie, I'm sorry it had to happen like this," whispered Noah. He cleared his throat and resumed talking at normal volume. "I didn't want you to have to see that happen."

"What am I gonna do now Noah?" asked Allie.

Noah nodded. "You have to end it with Lon."


	8. Chapter 8

Allie pulled up to the house. She turned around and looked at the ocean behind her. As she entered the house, the warm smell of the ocean filled the air. She sat down on her chair in the living room and sat back. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and went off into her imagination. She found herself back on her wedding day, in her beautiful dress, with a dazzling ring on her finger, a peach-colored diamond. She looked at herself on her wedding day. The guests were dancing, and Allie saw a couple dancing that she hadn't seen on her wedding day. Who was this couple, two seniors dancing slowly together, so tenderly ?

Allie's heart stopped, and she awoke from her vision. She went upstairs to her bedroom, crying.


	9. Chapter 9

When Lon got home, he put his briefcase on the kitchen counter, unbuttoned his vest and threw it on the living room couch, and ate the dinner Allie had prepared for him. It was cold, as always, but surprisingly different from what she usually prepared for him. She normally gave him some corn and chicken and maybe some rice if she was in a good enough mood to prepare it, but today, she had prepared his favorite meal. Lon ate and went up the stairs to go to bed.

Allie wasn't in bed when Lon arrived into the bedroom.

"Allie," yelled Lon. "Allie… where are you?"

Lon didn't hear a response, so he tried again. His heart stopped when he saw a note on Allie's side of the bed, on her pillow. He turned on the bedroom light, and read the note. After reading it, he took a deep breath, lied on the bed, and turned off the light.


	10. Chapter 10

Noah was pouring coffee into his mug when he heard a knock on the door. At first, he didn't feel like answering it. He pulled out a chair from under the kitchen table and took a seat, slowly sipping the liquid, then swishing it in his mouth, then swallowing it and breathing hard to let the coffee's essence simmer in his throat. When he heard continuous, insistent knocks he figured he should probably answer the door. He sat in his chair for a bit more time, but the knocks became loud thuds, and he got up.

As soon as he opened the door, Allie jumped in his arms.

"Noah," whispered Alie in his ear, while clinging to his neck. "I missed you."

Allie started to nibble down his neck, but Noah gently pulled her away.

"How did it go?" asked Noah.

Allie pretended not to hear what Noah had said and continued to kiss him.

"Allie—"

"Noah, please, don't think about that. I just wanna show you how much I missed you—"

"Come on Allie. I need to know. Did you do it ? Did you leave him ? Or are you still with him, just running back to me ?"

"Yes, Noah," said Allie firmly. "Yes, I left him. And it was hard. But I knew I was making the right choice."

"What did he say?" asked Noah. When Allie didn't answer, Noah sighed and turned around, walking to the kitchen. He got back in his chair and took another sip out of his mug. "You didn't tell him—"

"Yes, yes I _did, _Noah. But I didn't tell it to his face. That would have been much too painful for me to sit through and bare. But I left him a note. A note explaining _why_ I loved him enough not to_ be_ with him anymore."

Noah just sat there, staring at the kitchen stove, not sure how to answer. On the one hand, he was so proud of her for doing it, but he almost wished Allie had told it to his face, to confront him face to face.

"Noah, I know this has been hard for you. I _know_ it has and if I ever hurt you during this time I apologize. But I did it. It's over. I'm through with him. This is what you wanted. This is what I wanted. _This, _is what we wanted. So I did it. I did it, for _us. _So take me back. Take me into your arms, and make love to me. Like you're glad that I did it. It's what you asked for."

Noah stood up, kicked his chair back, and took Allie in his arms, kissing her endlessly. Allie walked backwards as Noah led her up the stairs into the bedroom, kicking the door behind him to close it.


	11. Chapter 11

"What made you do it, Allie?"

Allie got up from bed and walked near the door. She picked up the clothes they had torn off each other and had carelessly flung on the floor and started gathering them in a pile.

"Things..."

"What _things ?_" laughed Noah, still in bed. He rolled around and faced Allie, who was folding the clothes and putting them on a chair.

"When I got home that day, I went over to sit down, and I was pretty tired, so I closed my eyes and just went off into my thoughts. I had... some sort of vision, a dream you could say. I was sitting on my wedding day, watching the guests dance. And I saw this couple. Couple of 'ole people, and I didn't know who they were, I had never seen 'em before. I couldn't really tell who they were, their faces were kind of _nestled _in each others arms, but then I saw the old man's face."

"Who was it?" yawned Noah, stretching out his arms.

"It was you."

Noah stopped and frowned at Allie.

"_Me_?" asked Noah. "Why... _me_?"

"Because I was the girl," said Allie, tears trickling down her cheeks.

Noah stopped for a minute to collect his thoughts, then took a deep breath.

"Was I as good looking as I am now?"

Allie giggled, smiling at Noah. "Yes, you were. And you were _quite _the dancer."

"Was I now?" asked Noah, laughing. Allie had finished folding the clothes and went back in the bed. "What about you? Were you as beautiful as you are now?"

Allie smiled. She leaned in towards Noah and kissed his neck.

"I love you," she whispered. "Are you still mad?"

"I wasn't mad," mumbled Noah. "I was just... unsure."

"What's there to be unsure of?" asked Allie.

"Lon... how he would feel... how he would react. You didn't tell him face to face. He must have a lot of unanswered questions. And he can't ask you 'em."

Allie avoided the rest of the conversation by getting up. "I'm gon' pour us some coffee," she said. "Want something to eat?"


	12. Chapter 12

Noah got dressed and started to walk down the stairs.

"Alli !" he called out...

There was silence.

"Alli?"

Noah went to the kitchen and saw a note on the table. When he had read it, he crumpled it up in his hand and aimed it for the fridge, then threw it with all his anger. Then he went to the closet to get his coat, and ran out of the house into his car.

There was a knock on the door.

"Who is it?" cried Lon from his couch.

"It's... it's me Lon. Open up. I wanna talk to you," said Alli.

Lon took a deep breath, got up from the couch and walked over to the door. When he had opened it, leaving the door slightly open behind him, he walked away, back to the couch, and plopped himself onto it.

"Lon, I'm, I'm sorry... I didn't wanna hurt you," said Alli, pacing back and forth in front of Lon. "I just had to do what's best for me."

"Alli—"

"I love you, you have to believe that I love you. You do believe me, don't you?"

"Alli—"

"I mean, it was foolish of me not to _tell_ you why I was leaving, and that's why I wanted to come here, and _personally _give you my reason. So whadda you say?"

"Alli... I don't care anymore," said Lon.

"W—what? You don't... you don't _care_?" stuttered Alli, in shock.

"Well... no."

Alli, in complete bewilderment, sat on the couch, contemplating out loud what had just happened, fighting back tears.

"Alli, I was pretty much... thee _worse_ husband that _ever _lived. I lived for my job, I never payed attention to ya, I ate my dinners cold... you didn't _love_ me. From our marriage on, you never _did_. And that's alright. You'll always think of me as the bad husband, and I'll alway think of you as the moody slut. We're even."

Alli still couldn't quite accept the idea that Lon was okay with her, that he had no bitterness, no anger. As cruel as she knew it sounded, she _wanted _Lon to hate her, or to be miserable over her, to be crying. She wanted to know that her leaving him was enough to make him feel that way, that she mattered enough to make him weep, or break something, or be depressed. So she just sat there, in silence, her eyes watering, her body trembling, her mouth agape. When she felt a tear hit her open mouth, she closed it and wiped her eyes with her silken cream gloves, now inked with lines of her dark mascara. When it hit her that she had just heard Lon call her a slut, she got up from the couch and paced around a bit more.

"You just called me a slut, didn't you?" giggled Alli. Then, suddenly, she burst out laughing, the laughter surging from a confusion of emotions that had been so rattled up together, she couldn't help but laugh. Lon started laughing as well. Soon both were laughing, laughing at the fact that Lon had just called Alli a slut, but also laughing at themselves.

Alli sat back down on the couch, wiping tears of laughter, and soon found herself unconsciously nuzzled up in the gap between his chin and his neck. When they had collected themselves, they found themselevs in silence, just sitting there. Lon found his hand make his way on Alli's knee, and Alli looked up at him, still snug in the little nook she had created. Their lips were milimeters apart, and Alli found herself getting carried away in Lon's kiss. This kiss was a kiss just like the first one Lon had given her, one she had always remembered because she had never been able to forget it. It was tender and warm, soft, yet passionate and intense and whisked with lust... and maybe even love.

Alli pulled herself back from the kiss and cleared her throat.

"I can't do this Lon. Sorry."

Alli got up from the couch, ironed her dress with her fingers, going over the creases, and heard Lon get up. She felt his body press against hers, as he was standing behind her, his hands holding hers, his face now in the gap between her chin and her neck. He nibbled her neck gently.

"Lon... Lon... Lon— stop."

Lon withdrew himself.

"I'm sorry, Alli," he sighed. "But I still love you. I know I was a bad husband, and you were a moody slut. But let's start over. C'mon... I know that, deep down inside"— Lon put his hand on Alli's stomach— "you still care. When I told you I didn't care... I really did. And you do too."

Noah walked into the house and saw Alli and Lon pressed up against each other, Lon's hands on Alli's.

"The... the door was open... I— I..."

"Noah!" cried Alli, her eyes welling up with bitter tears. "NOAH!"

Noah walked out of the house, furiously slamming the door behind him.


	13. Chapter 13

Alli thrust herself out of Lon's arms and ran out of the door.

"NOAH !" she cried. "NOAH ! Where are you going?"

"Don't know," said Noah, starting up his car. "Anywhere... as long as it's away from you."

"Noah, Noah, don't leave, please. PLEASE," cried Alli as Noah sped away. Lon raced out of the house.

"Alli ! Alli, this is it," said Lon happily. "He's gone now, it's just you and me. We can start over, pick up where we left off. Come on Alli, you know you want to. You musta had something in your heart when you chose me, some... some little bit of love, some... something inside you that held you back and pushed you away from him. You belong to _me. _And I know that... and you know it too! Don't leave me all over again. I couldn't bare it. And neither could you. 'Cause you'd just come right back. You'd walk away from him, and hurt him again. And you'd hurt him real bad. You'd break his heart. Do you wanna hurt him Alli ? If you had a heart, and if you cared about him, even a _little_, you would let him be happy without you there ruining everything for him."

Alli stood there, her back turned to Lon.

"Please Alli. Come inside. Come back. To me. Where you belong."

Alli walked backwards, facing the road where Noah had driven away, and after a few steps turned around and walked into the house. After she had passed Lon, he walked behind her, smiling. As soon as she entered the house, she raced upstairs and locked the door to her bedroom. When Lon heard the door locking he raced upstairs and knocked at the door.

"Alli ? Why did you lock the door ? Alli... ALLI ! Alli, open up !"

Alli opened the door, suitcase in hand. She put her free hand on Lon's chest.

"All that you said... it wasn't true, none of it. You don't know me Lon. You only think you do. And I thought you did. I'm doing us both a favor." Alli walked downstairs and slammed the door behind her as she left the house, taking one last look before she left.


	14. Chapter 14

Noah lay in his bed, looking up at the ceiling. He heard he faucet drip, the ticking of the clock, and couldn't fall asleep. He tossed. Turned. Wrestled with his sheets. Punched angrily at the mattress. Nestled his face into his pillow. This way the way every night had been since he had found Alli with Lon, and the image of her body pressed up against his, her hands in his, hadn't left Noah's mind. He didn't know whether he still loved Alli. Just the thought of Alli with Lon repulsed him, yet he couldn't figure out why he couldn't stop thinking of her. The night was long. Noah got out of his bed and went into the shower.

As the drops of hot water trickled down his bare skin, as the rush of steam sent chills down his sculped back, he thought of Alli's touch. Maybe all he needednow was his shower, to replace Alli. But it couldn't replace her laugh. Her smile. The smell of her hair. The shape of her hands, and how they somehow fit perfectly into his. Her long fingers. The outline of her body, and her curves. Her scent. Her shoes, and the way she walked, one leg almost crossing over the other, just enough to walk in a straight line. The way she tucked her hair behind her ear. The way she looked up into the open when she was thinking of something. The way the sun hit her face, shining on her soft auburn locks and making her eyes sparkle.

Noah quickly turned off the shower and got out as quickly as possible to sit down. Noah closed his eyes, but his head was going around in circles rapidly, making him quickly open his eyes. He heard a knock on the door. At first Noah thought it was his imagination, but when he realized it was real, he draped his towel around his legs and went to answer the door.

"Don't close the door," exclaimed Alli as soon as Noah opened the door. He looked at her sternly, putting on his poker face.

"Noah... I'm... I'm sorry."

"Save it Alli," said Noah, coming outside, his hands in his pocket. He took a deep breath and exhaled deeply. "No more apologies. Save 'em. I want... I want something Alli. Somethin'. I want a commitment. A commitment Alli. I wanna know that you wanna be here as much... as much as I _want _you here. I wanna know that you're not gonna walk out of that door... from fear. 'Cause you're scared Alli. You're scared of staying. You're scared of hurting people and you're scared of _being _hurt. Just stop being scared. Can't you just... take a chance. _Take _a chance."

"Noah, I want to. I really do. But I have a life. I life back home. I can't just cut Lon out of the picture. He's my_ husband_, Noah."

"Oh sure, go ahead Alli. Go with that. But you didn't wanna marry Lon, did you ? You'd be lying if you said you didn't think of me at least once during your wedding. See, you'd be lying—"

"I thought about you all the time, Noah. I couldn't _stop_ thinking about you. Everytime someone came up to me and congratulated me, I wanted them to say your name instead of Lon's, because I knew that's the way it was supposed to be. That was always the way it should have been. But I chose a different route, Noah. And now I'm living it. What can I do ? What is it I can do, Noah ?"

"Leave him."

"Noah—"

"For God's sake, Alli. Can we please stop having this conversation? You leave him or you leave me. You can't have both. Now choose."


	15. Chapter 15

Alli knocked on the door, looking at the beautiful house she was about to leave. It had been a few days since she had last been here. Alli had spent a few weeks alone to evaluate her dilemma, trying to sort things out, trying to make things right, and finally it seemed she had figured things out, even if the decision pained her. Not because she did not love him; but because of the image that kept replaying inside her head, of the man's face as she walked out of his house for the very last time. The house seemed different, cold, unfamiliar. Maybe it was because she knew it was the last time she would ever come in. Alli took one deep breath, clutching tightly to the suitcase in her hand, as the man opened the door. As soon as he looked down at the suitcase and at the sorrow of her expression, he knew.

"This is it, isn't it?" he asked, as he let her come in.

"I'm getting my stuff, and I'm gone," said Alli. "I love you, but something... something happened to me. A change of plans."

"I don't get it."

"What is there to get? Things happen. Things change. I'm making the right decision."

"You can't be!" he exclaimed, both in an attempt to convince her to stay, and in an effort to convince himself she was actually leaving.

"Why not?"

"Because, _I _love you, and I'll be _damned_ if I let you walk out that door and make the wrong decision, then start your... escapades all over again!"

"Please. Don't make this harder for me. Just let me get everything, and let me go. You have to let me go."

Alli rapidly stuffed her clothes carelessly into her suitcase, and shut the door behind her, without turning back.


	16. Chapter 16

He was fast asleep when he heard a hard knock on the door. Slowly squinting open his eyes, he forced them shut when he saw the bright sunshine piercing through the shutters. He felt the warmth against his skin, against his hair. He slowly opened his eyes and wondered if the knocking on his door was real or just part of his dream, when he heard the knock again, harder this time. He rose to a sitting position on the edge of his bed, wondering who could be knocking on his door at seven in the morning, and, hearing the door knocking for a third time, he grunted and got up. In his boxer briefs, he walked down the stairs of his house and opened the door.

"Oh Noah!" exclaimed Alli, dropping her things to her sides and throwing herself into his arms. Noah stood there for a minute, confused, then closed his eyes and tightly wrapped his arms around her. Then he grabbed onto her arms and forced her away, not understanding what had happened.

"I don't get it," asked Noah. "Why now?"

"I'm pregnant Noah," rushed Alli, not meaning for the words to come out so quickly. "I'm sorry... I... I shouldn't have—"

Noah looked to his side, sighed, and stood there for a minute, unsure of what his reaction should be. "You sure it's mine?" he asked, still turned away from Alli. He couldn't get himself to look at her.

"I haven't been with him," whispered Alli, desperate to hold him, her eyes welling with tears. "I know it's yours Noah, I know it is."

Noah looked back at her, fixated for a moment on her face, testing her. He saw her gaze, her desperation, and knew everything had fallen into the place. Smiling, Noah grabbed Alli and held her tight. He could feel her wet tears on his shoulders, and held her tight longer, looking into the distance. He let her go, and placed his palm on her cheek. Alli let her face fall into his hands, staring into his eyes.

Maybe this was how the story ends, thought Noah. Then again, maybe not. But he knew he would have her by his side as long as he could possibly keep her there. He took her things in one hand, and held her hand with the other, and walked into the house. Their house. Their home.


End file.
